Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
