I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
