I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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