at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
