let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
