I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
