i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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