The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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