This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize