She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
sex in a hospital.. check
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
