my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
