This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm at about main and main street
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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