oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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