I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
