you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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