we have pet lesbian snakes
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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