I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Your cock deserves a montage
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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