oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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