dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
