I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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