i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
