im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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