It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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