Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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