You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
