u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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