the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
