Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
