I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
