You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The adults are the big ones right?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
