You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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