OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize