that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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