D3 body, D1 cock
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
