I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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