If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
