so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
