i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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