Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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