the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
