at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
