I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I should be sponsored by Trojan
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
