my vag is so smooth its legendary
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
