If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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