My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
