I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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