Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
