So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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