I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Randomize
