So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
