Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
this hospital has no fireball
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
