I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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