Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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