I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
