here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
