Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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