moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It was confusing and full of hummus
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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