I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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