She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
false alarm, still single
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