thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
