There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
