You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That accounts for only three of the penises
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
