dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
