My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
