So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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