Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
