question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
