you're like a bully in the Christmas story
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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