Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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