she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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